#IChoosePurity [Part Three]: How God made me pure

“Ok, so we have all done things that make us ‘impure’. What now?”

Every choice you make has consequences. Little rebound here, little fling there, little date with the guy you know you will never date, but hey, he makes you feel beautiful – and besides, what harm could these things do right?

Well, here is what God has shown me through my journey about purity:

I have had relationships before but I’ve never slept with anyone before. So I’ve always considered myself as pure. However, I have compromised – in all areas of the heart. And what I did was I suppressed all of it. Telling myself I don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed because I was justifying being reckless with my heart by saying “I’ve never done the ‘deed’, so I have nothing to feel bad about.” (Yes, I didn’t even want to say the ‘S’ word).

Then one day the pot’s lid couldn’t contain what I tried to deny, and all those memories of things I’ve done and felt and thought caught up with me and the pot boiled over. I was on my knees sobbing in front of God saying out loud to Him: “God, I am so ashamed of what I’ve have done with this guy and that guy!” And I went through the list of every big and little thing that I have done that I wasn’t proud of…until there was nothing left.

As I was sitting there, so extremely vulnerable before Him on my bedroom floor, He gave me an image of a little spotless white cloth (your heart) that we each get at birth. Then through life we tell lies, think about lustful things, compromise in relationships, judge ourselves, judge others, etc. And each of these things results in stains on our cloths: some bigger and more permanent than others. Then we try to wash these clean with Jik and Omo and soap by going to therapy, or to indulge in self-help books, etc.

But as I was sitting at His feet with my face in my hands with shame, He showed me that by laying each little (and big) thing I have done that made me feel guilty and ashamed down before Him,  I gave Him the opportunity to take my hands in His, lifting my chin up to look at His beautiful face, and to lead me to sit on His lap like a little child – I gave Him the opportunity to erase each stain – bit by bit – until it was completely spotless.

Then, when my cloth was finally spotless, He took it and put it in His heart, replacing my heart (my cloth) with His. Now His heart was beating in my chest; His blood was flowing through my veins; His breath through my lungs. I am clean. I am white as snow. The enemy and my past have no more hold on me or my heart. I am free of guilt. I am free of shame. I AM PURE.

And since that I have been more careful and responsible with what I expose myself to and what I allow in my life. I want to be clean and free for my husband, because that is who I believe he deserves. So living purely is the least I can do for him.

IT COMES DOWN TO LOVING YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE THROUGH THE WAY YOU LIVE.

Part Four looks at Purity as a Lifestyle.

#IChoosePurity [Part Two]: your past and future relationships

In this post we look at purity and love relationships and why the least we could do now is to begin being pure for our current or future spouse.

So you’ve slept with someone before? Or you've compromised sexually? Or you haven’t done anything physically but you've fantasized or engaged in pornography? Which means you’re still technically pure, right?

Let’s look at why being “technically” pure isn't a real thing…

 “She does him (her husband) good, all the days of her life.” Prov31:12. 

Not beginning the day she marries him or falls in love with him or meets him; ALL the days. So even at this very moment one should be faithful to your current or future spouse…

Just think about it. If you have compromised and are still “technically” pure you still sit with feelings of guilt or shame. Don’t agree with me? Well, would you tell someone you have just met exactly how far you and your partner have gone? Didn’t think so. You are most probably suppressing those feelings of shame and guilt or justifying what you’ve done by hiding behind “I haven’t had sex yet, so I am still a virgin.”

Purity doesn’t work like that. As said in Part One, purity is about more than just the physical – it’s a matter of the heart. And shame and guilt are chains that the enemy has around your heart and he is slowly but surely suffocating your inner beauty and freedom by convincing you that you are condemned, unworthy of being called clean, and undeserving of forgiveness and a godly relationship.

You might not even be aware of these feelings yet, but they will, and most probably are, surface in your relationship with your partner and even your relationship with yourself.

So it comes down to being faithful to your future spouse before you even meet them. Don’t compromise; don’t expose yourself to things that could trigger thoughts about lust or addictions to it. These examples may not seem very harmful, but that’s exactly what the enemy does – he comes quietly and plants little seeds in your minds about minor things, and then, with enough exposure to these toxic things, these seeds grow and grow until it shows its roots in your life… And the funny thing is that the enemy even convinces you that it’s your fault – that he had nothing to do with it – and YOU sit with the guilt (I hate what I’ve done) and shame (I hate me)… Thus, prevention is better than cure they say: don’t compromise; don’t expose yourself to things that could trigger thoughts about lust or addictions to it.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is insecure to a point where you have to try and convince them every day of their beauty and worth? Someone who hates themselves behind the mask they wear? Someone who has anger and bitterness in them about what they have done and is constantly taking it out on you or others?

I guess not. Then if you don’t want someone like that, then surely you shouldn’t be like that either… Cause your spouse wouldn’t want someone like that either…unless you decide NOW to be pure. And yes, it is possible – regardless of your past. That is a fact. Be the person you want to meet.

In Part Three we will look at how YOU can be PURE.